From People-Pleasing to Personal Power: How Women Can Reclaim Their Voice
- Oct 6, 2025
- 3 min read
Updated: Oct 21, 2025
People-pleasing often begins as a survival strategy. Maybe you learned early that keeping the peace, putting others first, or working twice as hard earned you safety or approval. Over time, though, those patterns harden into habits that cost you your energy, clarity, and confidence—at work and in your personal life.
As a certified life coach specializing in both life coaching and leadership coaching, I see the impact of people-pleasing every day. Women come to me exhausted from carrying the weight of everyone else’s needs, quietly silencing their own. What started as a way to feel secure becomes a cage that keeps them from the life they truly want.
The Impact of People-Pleasing at Work
In the workplace, people-pleasing can look like:
Saying yes to extra projects—even when your plate is already overflowing.
Apologizing for things that aren’t your fault (“Sorry, I just wanted to check in…”).
Staying quiet in meetings, even when you have a great idea, because you’re afraid of rejection.
Working harder than everyone else behind the scenes, hoping your effort will prove your worth.
The hidden cost? Missed opportunities, stalled career growth, burnout, and resentment. When you’re constantly accommodating, your colleagues may not see you as a leader—even though you have all the potential. That’s why leadership coaching so often involves unlearning the habit of people-pleasing.
The Impact of People-Pleasing in Personal Life
Outside of work, the story isn’t much different. People-pleasing shows up when you:
Defer to your partner, family, or friends instead of expressing your own preferences.
Hide your feelings to avoid conflict.
Put everyone else first and tell yourself your needs don’t matter as much.
The result is disconnection—from yourself, and sometimes from others. When you sublimate your own voice, you end up carrying quiet resentment and longing for relationships that feel more authentic.
Why Do I Constantly People-Please?
If you’ve ever asked yourself this question, know that you’re not alone. People-pleasing isn’t weakness—it’s a learned response. You learned to read the room, smooth the edges, and keep things safe. But the very habit that once protected you is now holding you back from personal growth coaching can provide the tools to break free.
Three Tools to Begin Curing People-Pleasing
If you’re ready to take the first steps toward change, here are three tools you can try right away:
1. The Pause Button: Before you say yes, pause. Take one deep breath and tell the other person, “Let me think about that and get back to you.” This buys you space to check in with yourself.
2. The Preference Finder: Practice noticing your own wants in small, low-stakes moments. Choose the restaurant, pick the playlist, or name the movie you’d like to watch. Each time you name a preference, you strengthen the muscle of self-expression.
3. Swap Apologies for Appreciation: Replace “Sorry I’m late” with “Thank you for waiting.” Replace “Sorry for asking” with “I appreciate your help.” This simple shift rewires your brain from guilt to groundedness.
These practices may seem small, but they’re powerful stepping-stones toward bigger conversations.
Beyond People Pleasing: A 7-Week In-Person Program in Livingston, MT
If you’re ready to go deeper, I invite you to join me for Beyond People Pleasing—a transformational 7-week program for women who are tired of silencing their own voices.
In this program, we’ll:
Explore the root causes of people-pleasing.
Practice real-world tools in a supportive, small-group setting.
Build the confidence to speak up without guilt or apology.
Create a new kind of safety—one where your needs matter just as much as anyone else’s.
📍 In-person in Livingston, Montana or remotely via Zoom
🕒 Up to 90 minutes each session
💲 $875 per person
✨ 7 total sessions
This isn’t theory—it’s life coaching with practical application. You’ll walk away with concrete tools, renewed self-esteem, and a sense of freedom you may not have felt in years.
About Coach Rainy
I’m Rainy Martin, known as Coach Rainy—a certified life coach and business coach based in Livingston, Montana. I specialize in helping women and leaders break free from old patterns, build confidence, and create lives and workplaces that align with their values.
Through personal growth coaching, I’ve seen what happens when women stop apologizing for everything and start putting themselves first without feeling selfish: they become clearer, more confident, and more connected.
Stay Connected
If this resonates with you, I’d love for you to:
Follow me on Instagram or LinkedIn for daily insights and tools.
Explore my other life coaching and leadership coaching programs at coachrainy.com.
Because when you stop people-pleasing, you don’t just find your voice—you reclaim your power.
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